I set my friends on fire

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(no subject)

Title: No More Tears

Fandom: A7X

Pairing(s): Zack/Brian

Rating: R-NC17 (in parts)

Chapters or Parts: Parts (III)

Notes: None for now

Disclaimer: I, sadly, own no celebrities. I own anyone you’ve never heard of (or at least, more than likely do). I did not write the lyrics to the song ‘No More Tears’. Ozzy Osbourne and probably some other people did, but I can’t find the booklet to tell you who.

The light in the window is a crack in the sky

A stairway to darkness in the blink of an eye

A levee of tears you know she’ll never be coming back

The man in the dark will bring another attack

( Part One )

Part One- Zack’s POV

Hier ne meurt-il pas? (Does yesterday never die?)

My father always used to say to me, “You aren’t worth anything in this world until you prove otherwise; you’ve yet to do so Zack and it’s starting to embarrass me.” The problem child, the one who never did anything for his own good. I had dreams, aspirations and a six stringed instrument to make it all come true.

That was a stupid thing to think to my father. His idea of a ‘worthy life’ was a minimum wage job someplace you hate with people you hate, a decent wife and a shitload of kids to ‘carry on the family name’. I guess my band dreams weren’t what blew that all to hell, it must have been when he walked in on me and Brian and realized I wasn’t going to marry a woman or have any kids.

He shot his brains out a week later because he couldn’t cope with the fact that he had a gay son. I’ll admit that I was shaken, as much as I hated him and the way he thought I felt horrible for being responsible for a man’s death. Let alone my own father. Val Di Benedetto, my best friend, was quick to try and shake me from those thoughts. Eventually I moved on, we moved on, with our dreams and our new experiment, that we had tentatively named ‘Life’.

It had been four years since then, four ghastly, cold and straining years. I could still smell his blood in the air if I tried, and I could remember the sight that had greeted me that cold, desolate December morning. I found myself sitting on my bunk, hugging myself on the fourth anniversary of his death, alone in the back of the bus, wondering exactly how I’d made it this far. I was on the opposite side of the U.S., selling records, touring. . I was famous, and yet I couldn’t grasp that.

Brian must have wandered back by then, because the next thing I knew he sat next to me and slid his arms around me, kissed my temple with his warm, nicotine scented lips. I loved that smell, it made me want a cigarette, or better yet to lick the seconds off his lips.

“You ok, babe?”

I nodded and swallowed past my suddenly dry, scratchy throat. “Yeah, just. . .wow. Four years.”

He just nodded but then said softly. “He isn’t worth your thoughts, Zacky.”

I licked my lips, nodded again, thoughts switching almost instantly to that smell, he reeked of cigarettes and his deodorant. I knew right away that he’d just smoked, and I feigned a pout. “What, you can’t share?”

He grinned at me, pulled his legs onto the bunk and watched me with amused, sparkling eyes. “I didn’t, but I still can.” He tugged invitingly, pulled me into his lap and I couldn’t stop grinning. He brought my head down and I kissed him very, very softly. I could tell it was driving him nuts, and I loved it.

He bit roughly at my bottom lip which made me moan and part my lips to him. Our teeth clanked together with our sudden hungriness, but it didn’t stop us. His tongue met mine first. Soft, and pliable, velvety rough and wet, tasting like a cancer stick. I slid mine back against his fervently as my hands moved to teasingly brush against him in his pants. He moaned my name into my mouth, and I grinned, pleased with his reaction.

I pulled my swollen, sloppy mouth from his and smiled a little. I’d managed, in his arousal, to undo his pants without him knowing. I slid a hand in to brush the very tips of my fingers over his slightly erect cock, and he bucked wildly against me, babbling that he wanted to fuck me. I just smirked and pulled his legs straight out, yanked his pants and shorts to his knees, then bent forward, and languidly circled the perimeter of the head of his cock with my tongue.

I heard him moan my name but paid no heed, I ran my tongue down one side of him, and then around the head again. Gently sliding my tongue’s tip over I tickled his tiny slit, then took half of him down my throat. Brian was well endowed, and I had to get a hold of my thoughts and such if I was going to not choke on him. After successfully drowning anything else out, and focusing on taking him all, I lowered my mouth further. My throat muscles were relaxed so he slid easily down, and I moaned onto him so he’d feel the vibrations in his gut and toes.

Suddenly I was being yanked up and kissed hard, I felt him pulling my pants away and smiled into the kiss, returned it. The cool air of the room hit my skin and he turned me over, I heard him spitting into his hand and there was a pause as he coated himself. Then he grabbed my ass cheeks roughly and thrust into me in one clean, livid movement. I moaned his name, wiggled my ass back against him and yelped when his hand came down on one cheek, a loud smacking sound filling the room.

“Stay still.” He demanded in a harsh, thick voice.

I grinned and obeyed for a bit, slid back against him again, and got smacked again. “Bad, Zacky!” He slid his hands from my ass to my hips and began to thrust fast and hard into me. I moaned again, feeling him going as far as my body would allow him. He paused and shifted slightly and went harder, slamming into my prostate. I cried out, but it was nowhere near over. He rested his chest on my back, balanced himself that way as his hips did all the hard work. One hand crept to wrap around my now very hard cock and start stroking, the other slid to rub a finger in the place between my balls and ass. I was screaming now and knew everyone on the bus could probably hear, not that I cared.

He almost lost his balance, so he removed the hand rubbing and balanced himself on the bunk with it, continuing to stroke me in time with his thrusts. I whimpered that I was about to come and felt his dry lips press my back. “Me too, baby, me too. Oh fuck, back up a little Zack . .shit. . .”

I moved myself back against him and moaned when he came deep inside of me. It sent me off, and with a cry of his name I shot all over his hands and the sheets, collapsed onto the bed. He pulled his hand from under me and pulled out of me, hugged me close as he lay next to me, panting for breath. “I love you, Zack.”

I nodded, turned to face him and kissed him gently. “I love you too.”

“See baby,” he smiled at me, ran his fingers through my hair affectionately. “Didn’t I tell you we’d be together forever?”

I couldn’t help but smile at that, and I nodded, pecked his lips. “Yeah, and we will.”

I don’t know now if that’s what sparked my second thoughts, but they did begin that night as we rolled on through Baltimore. I was laying there, either Val or Brian was with me, asleep. It was almost like . . a dream. Like something was warning me that Brian wasn’t. . .it. Maybe not that he wasn’t the right one, maybe that there was more than one. I didn’t know what it was then, but I just felt like I was missing something vital.

I should have known bringing those feelings up to Bri would be a mistake. There was no way to make him understand when I myself didn’t quite understand it. He took far more to heart than I had expected him to. He refused to speak to me, look at me, touch me for days. Almost a week had gone by when we stopped somewhere for a bite, and I was horny as hell. It was agonizing, walking around a city trying to ignore a boner. It would not be ignored, so I looked around, trying to think of some way to get rid of it.

And then I saw her.

She was my age, maybe slightly older but obviously in the same boat. She had long red hair (the natural kind, not that fake purplish stuff) that curled a little at the ends. I noticed it only because a gust of wind blew it from her back and over her shoulders. I was surprised when our agent walked up to me and brought her over, introduced her as the venue we were playing’s manager. I met the ocean blue, cool eyes and felt myself smile, I had never been so fascinated by a woman, especially on the first glance.

“Zack! I want you to meet Gillian. She runs the center, Gillian, this is Zack Baker, he plays guitar.”

She was thrust rather forcefully in front of me, and I could tell by her side swaying expression that she was slightly intimidated, but I smiled and took her hand, kissed the back of it. “It’s a pleasure, Miss.”

She turned pink and I knew I had her in the palm of my hand like putty. “Please, just Gillian.” She said softly. “The pleasure is mine.”

I wanted to say something along the lines of let’s share it then, but he was still yapping at us both. We managed to step away to talk, I don’t know why we did, but we did and ended up walking down the street. I was glad she knew where she was, because I had no fucking clue.

“So,” she paused, fought for a question. “How. . much longer will you guys be touring?”

I smiled a little, shrugged as I stuffed my hands into my pockets. “Eh, I think three weeks.”

“I see,” she twisted her hands like pretzels, avoided looking at me, and I was enjoying it way too much. “Um, I . . .” She began to laugh. “I’m sorry, this is awkward.”

I stopped, faced her. “Why is that, Gillian?” I was playing coy, and she was a helpless mouse in my path.

“Well I don’t know you. . .”

“Get to know me,” I said, pulled my hands from their hiding places and moved closer to her. “I don’t bite unless I’m asked to.”

She turned red and I grinned, she backed away. “Do you ever feel nervous?”

“Life’s too short.” I inched closer and she kept going back, but she was smiling. Her back hit the wall of a building and she stiffened visibly. I paused just before her, not touching her yet. Her eyes raised from the side to mine, they were frightened but intrigued. I felt my nerves wake but shook them off, reached to trace her jaw with the tip of my index finger. I was clueless as to how to go about this, I’d never been with a woman.

“You’re very pretty,” I said softly, not betraying my apprehension.

She smiled a little, leaned into my touch but asked. “Can . .I trust you?”

I licked my suddenly dry lips over and thought for a moment, then nodded. “Yes, you can.” I slid my hand so the entire thing caressed her milky in complexion and softness cheek, she lowered her eyes briefly in thought but I moved the hand again so I could lift her chin with two fingers. I gazed into those beautiful blue areolas and then bent in slightly, pressed my lips to her much smaller ones, I wasn’t used to that.

She was still hesitant, and I could understand why so I was patient. She’d just met me, and I was this big tattooed bad ass rock star, but I felt her making a slight effort to kiss me back, and so I slid my tongue along her bottom lip, and that did it. She pulled me firmly against her and opened her mouth to kiss me deeply. I moaned, her mouth tasted sweet, like mint and tobacco, and it drove me wild, similarly to Brian’s. I didn’t wanna think of him right now tho, I just wanted to get off as quickly and shamelessly as possible.

It would be hard not to feel shame in defacing this lovely flower, but I’d try.

“You wanna go anywhere in particular?” I whispered, pulling my mouth from hers and sliding my hand to caress her inner thigh. She moaned softly and shook her head in the negative, so I just reached into her skirt and pushed her underwear aside, feeling my adrenaline rush as I kept thinking ‘I’m touching a girl, I’m touching a girl, holy fuck, I gotta stick my finger. . .’. It was odd at first but I didn’t betray my inexperience, pushed at her with two fingers until I felt them slide into something very hot, very tight and very damp. I moaned loudly, leant closer, used a hand to hold me up and began to work my hand in and out of her.

After just minutes I felt her hand snake into my underwear, saw my pants pooled at my ankles and groaned when I felt a tiny fist form around my cock and start to stroke. I pushed it away and then pulled my underwear down, lifted her leg around my hip and thrust up into her with a growl of lust. She watched me, clearly surprised but clearly enjoying it. I again propped myself against the wall and began to thrust easily in and out of her, moaning her name loudly as I worked myself, not really focusing on her anymore but I realize dit didn’t matter, because just seconds after starting to thrust back against me, I felt her muscles squeeze me blue, and heard her moaning and whimpering and such.

Realizing this was about to become human reproduction I quickly pulled myself from her and jacked off all over her thighs and even the wall, moaning and such until I was done. She squirmed away, to my surprise, dressed, cleaned herself off and began to walk the way we’d come. “Come on, I’ll take you back.”

I watched her but shrugged, dressed and followed her, eyes lowered, hands in pockets. No guilt, Zack, it was bound to be random, she knew that too.“Fucking hell.” I sighed and caught up with the guys, went straight to bed. When I was almost asleep I heard Brian moving around but just as quickly as he’d come into the room, he was gone now, and for the first time in a long time, I rolled onto my side facing the opposite way, and cried myself to sleep.

It’s not easy being lonely. That’s a fucking understatement, it’s fucking hell being lonely.

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Fic

Fandom: Multi

Name: C’est Tout Ce Qu’il Me Faut (That’s All You Need to Do For Me)

Rating: R, NC-17 in parts

Notes: This is a continuation of an RP of mine that recently fell through. Each chap will either follow Wil and Jess or Joel and Shar’s lives, and there’ll be a few crossovers.

Disclaimer: I own no one but Jess and Sharon, Abby, Jeffrey, Damien and Aurora. Ang, Jaden and Wil Brookes (as they are characterized here, not the real Wil from Aiden) and Andrew Madden belong to tynged_coel on GJ..

Beautiful Mind

( Chapter One )

Early March brought a still calmness over Robin Madden’s home, one to which made everyone staying there feel odd. Benji and Jess’s marriage was annulled, and he’d moved to an apartment to wallow over her and Katie Reed, whom he had divorced not long ago as well. Sharon and Joel both were staying there, sleeping apart from one another. Joel had been slowly gaining his memories that she had given him, but they were nowhere near able to take that and rebuild their marriage. The twins were learning to crawl, just in time for what was about to be Benji and Joel’s 18^th birthday.

On the night of the 8^th Sharon awoke from a deep sleep to Abby’s shrill cry, and she was barely able to pull herself from the bed. She crossed the hall in her nightgown, rubbing her arms, it was unusually chilly in the house, and rather breezy. . . She opened the twins room’s door and froze there when she saw the window was wide open, sobbed and ran to Jeffrey’s crib, even though she knew he would not be there.

An hour later she was sitting on the couch, the window behind her blue, red and white with police car lights. She stared at her arms, which drooped over the front of her, covered in goosebumps from the chill. Everyone was out being interviewed by the police, and she had been advised to stay sitting down until the shock wore off. A tear slid down her face and she indignantly wiped it away and sniffled. She’d failed her baby, the promise she and Joel had made to them when she was pregnant to never let them be hurt.

A creek came from the stairs above and without moving her head she raised her eyes, Joel was the only other person inside, he hadn’t been woken by anything until now, obviously. She didn’t move, lowered her eyes when he descended the stairs and rubbed his eyes, looked out the window. He turned his gaze to her and shoved his hands into the pockets of his flannel sleep pants. “Hey, what happened?”

She opened her mouth to reply and choked on a sob, shut it and composed herself, stared continuously at her hand. “Jeffrey was. . kidnaped.”

“Jeffrey,” he frowned, moved to sit next to her. “Our. . .son, Jeffrey?”

She nodded, sniffled and replied in a cracked voice. “Yeah.”

Joel frowned and awkwardly shoved his hands into his pockets, bit down onto his lip. “I remember them, Shar, I do. I just. . . I need to get back into the swing of it all so I can remember what it feels like.”

She sighed and nodded, pulled him into a hug. “I know, I’m not upset with you. I’m mad at myself.”

He slid his arms tightly around her and kissed her hair. “Why?”

“Because I’m a bad mother.”

Joel stiffened and pulled back, looked at her with disapproving eyes. “Don’t you ever say that, you’re an amazing mother! Look at you, you’re juggling it with school and me and all that fucking drama.” He sighed. “It’s not your fault, you didn’t make that agreement.”

Sharon nodded, a few tears sliding down her face to his chest. He hugged her tighter, began to softly sing to her. Soon he felt her go limp against him and knew she was asleep. He smiled lightly and picked her up, carried her up the stairs and to his bed this time, laid her down and brushed a curl from her face. “Love you, Shamaho.” He whispered, and went back down to see if there was anything he could do to help find his son.

About a week later, sans Jeffrey, they moved back home with Abby. Sharon had become rather distant to everyone as hopelessness got the best of her. She carried Abby to her room, avoiding the mobile above Jeffrey’s crib where his name was hanging. She laid her down and sighed deeply, walked back to the living room where Joel was sitting, eyes closed. She half smiled, watched as memories washed over him, her own dancing into her mind.

Joel opened his eyes and gazed at her, licked his lips and whispered. “Mom and Benj bought this place. Gave it to us when the twins were born.”

Sharon nodded quickly, leant against the wall. “Yeah, we had an apartment before that.”

He smiled at that and nodded. “I dream about that place. And the treehouse.”

She smiled a little and nodded with a laugh. “The twins were conceived there.”

He looked a little surprised but laughed, nodded. “They were, huh?” He scratched at his hair and stood, looking around at some more recent pictures. “So . . where did Jess meet Wil?”

Sharon walked over to look at the picture he’d glanced at, smiled. “Just after her birthday. She was pregnant with our nephew Damien, and he kinda took her in off the streets when she had no one else.”

“I became friends with him,” he said with a soft smile. “He used to sneak me into the bar.”

“Wil is awesome.”

“And they have a baby too, right?”

She nodded, slid her arm around his waist and looked to Aurora’s hospital picture. “They have a little girl, and Wil has a three year old, her name’s Angie.”

Joel smiled warmly and sighed a little. “We have it made, huh Priscilla?”

She giggled and nodded, stood on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. “Sure do, Elvis.”

“Well what about Benj? What’s he been up to?”

Sharon pulled him to sit and sat with his arm around her shoulders, leant against him comfortably. “Well he got married not long after Wil and Jess met, to this fetish model named Katie.” She shrugged. “I was never fond of her, and Jess either. But Benj admitted to still really loving Jess and divorced Katie.” She decided not to further for the time being.

“Jess is married to Wil tho, right?”

“Yeah, they got married right before Dami was born.”

He nodded a little, relaxing as he absorbed it all. He rested his head on hers and sighed contentedly, nuzzling her with his cheek, smiling. “Mmmm, you smell so good.”

Sharon laughed a little, tried to wiggle away. “Don’t you dare. . .”

His hands had already slid down to her sides and fingers had started to relentlessly tickle her, making her squeal in delight. “You’re miiiiiiiine!”

“Ah! Ah! Stop, STOP! Uncle, uncle, uncle!!!”

Joel laughed and released his hysterical wife, noticed that her left ring finger was bare and instantly his smile vanished. “Shar. . .”

She looked at him, smiling but the smile vanished when she saw the look of hurt in his eyes. “What, baby?”

He nodded to her hand and she noticed, yiped and ran into the bathroom, came back out with a ring cleaning kit. “I wear it, I do, I just was cleaning it and forgot to put it back on.”

“Oh,” he laughed. “I was worried you might have given up on me.”

Sharon shook her head, moved to straddle him on the couch. “Never ever.” She said softly, sliding her hands to caress his face, leaning in to kiss him for the first real time in . . . too long.

Joel sobered instantly when her lips slid sensually over his, pulled her tight to him as surges of memories of what must have been thousands of kisses through the last few months. He kissed her back, letting instinct rule him, not exactly sure how to go about. He soon fell into what was once a habit, kissed her back passionately when the phone began to ring.

Current Mood:	calm
Current Music:	Aiden- See You In Hell

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11:49 pm 6/9/06 Leave a comment	xburntxmemoirsx Diary 6 ( Diary ofa Mad White Guitarist Six )


11:29 am 6/9/06 Leave a comment	xburntxmemoirsx Diary Update by the end of the week. Thanks for your patience. Shar


08:43 pm 5/30/06 Leave a comment	xburntxmemoirsx :( Didn't work kids, sorry. One more day.


07:20 pm 5/24/06 Leave a comment	xburntxmemoirsx Bad news Fics are on a brief hiatus til I can get more disks, my last one shit out on me in my bag today so I cant post anything. Many apologies, I know I havent updated Diary in a long time.


12:33 am 4/2/06 Leave a comment	xburntxmemoirsx Balhhh to all readers I HAVE finsihed Falling From the Light but haven't had a chance to put it on disk and bring it home, I work at a newspaper and write stuff there so PLEASE be patient. I will try to have it tomorrow. ~Shar~


08:30 pm 3/8/06 Leave a comment	xburntxmemoirsx !!!??? WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH LJ CUTS AROUND HERE?????!!!